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DIVORCE: the termination of a marriage or marital union, the canceling and/or reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage.

What most people focus on is the “termination” side of the definition, but they forget about the “reorganizing” side. That generally is why this process can be so tough. You have two people that want to separate but they have responsibilities with children, property, income and the years of invested effort and emotion to sort out.

To better understand this, we use F-A-C-C-T® to work through the relationship.

FACCT® looks at the five key elements of a changing relationship:

  • Family Re-Formation
  • Awareness
  • Communication
  • Commitment
  • Trust

This may sound like a “happy” relationship. However, they truly represent the components of successfully moving forward through separation, divorce, and into a new life.

As a couple looks at the options in divorce, we think it is important that the advice of a very good family judge be taken into consideration.

What Courts See In Divorce Cases

We had a judge share a metaphor about awareness and the courts that we encourage couples to keep in mind. She took a piece of paper and explained it represented how the courts see couples filing for divorce. Each time she folded that paper she had a statement:

  • This is you and what you know about you.
  • This is what those closest to you know about you.
  • This is what your friends know about you.
  • This is what your work associates know about you.
  • This is what people on Facebook know about you.
  • This is what the people at the coffee shop know about you.
  • This is what the judge knows about you and part of that may be total fiction made up in court pleadings.

At this point the folded paper is tiny compared to the entire sheet.

The court is being asked to make life altering decisions for a couple based on very little information. Sadly, couples think that they will get justice when all they generally end up with is pain.

F-A-C-C-T™ gives you a better view of the process, putting your in control of your future outcomes if you choose the divorce process.

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